We’d be able to afford Nutella when our hearts are broken by that asshole from the bar.We’d be able to choose where we’d have make up sex, his place or mine.Out of boredom, I went back on Tinder; or rather the deep, dark, horrible corners of what’s left of Tinder in Venezuela.The dating pool got thinner, unlike chavista officers now borderline obese. Click this link to register and get off the cost of your first stay. Murdering is too easy because there is virtually no chance of being prosecuted here. Dress like a Venezuelan and stick to main areas near downtown or the universities. I don't, however, suggest living here.***If you’re doing a short-term stay (one month or less) Airbnb is your best bet.
It breaks my heart and I haven’t done it, because I really don’t want to. I agreed because I rather offer him the liberty to do it and hope that when he does have sex, it won’t mean anything. But we’re in our 30s now, we’re too old and Caracas is too dangerous to have sex in the car.We’d have options to buy nice anniversary gifts or save money to pay for our own weddings and go on a kickass, instagrammable honeymoon.We’d be able to choose vegan, kiwi-mango-pineapple flavored, cranberry scented, glow in the dark, ribbed for her pleasure, non-latex condoms.There’s no room or place for birds and bees under Maduro’s dictatorship.Yes, I know it’s a minor problem and I should count my blessings, but I find it ridiculous and enraging that chavismo is cockblocking us all.
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