Christian friends before dating
Women tend to be more relational than men and so are more inclined toward deepening the relationship and moving toward marital commitment.Thus they are more likely to be disappointed when the friendship doesn’t “go” anywhere.Dating, however, isn’t mentioned in the Bible, and we shouldn’t try to find a “biblical basis” for dating, lest we superimpose our Western categories onto Scripture.The Bible does typically refer to family-arranged marriages (e.g., Isaac and Rebekah in Gen.
Furthermore, a dating culture, which is becoming increasingly sexualized, does not first focus on establishing friendship and the exploration and discovery of solid character, habits of faithfulness, the ability to resolve conflict, and other factors that contribute to stable marriages.
Furthermore, the dating system usually leaves all the decision making to the young person who is emotionally involved, often immature, and beset by peer pressure with little significant input from parents or church.
Finally, the dating system tends to neglect the practical realities of life: sufficient education, an income-earning track record, savings, life experience, common interests, and conflict-resolution skills.
Maybe they’ll call each other “BFFs” and watch movies or have dinner together, but they do so in a detached way—as though their sexual identity doesn’t matter.
All the while, lines of propriety get blurred, resulting in unhealthy and often unintended emotional attachments.
As most couples in our culture won’t take the arranged-marriage approach, dating—or something approximating it—is the system they are left with.