Dating with a learning disability Quick sex on webchat
I sometimes worry about other people’s potential reactions — in case it might hurt or annoy him rather than because I give a toss what people think. I feel sad that the disability means he hasn’t always been as confident as he might have been.
And sure, I’ve had moments of sadness and doubt where I’ve thought, Wow, maybe we’ll never be able to take glorious city breaks where we walk round the sights and streets until our feet ache like hell to the point where our cold drink at the bar afterward feels like heaven.
It depends on the person's abilities and the level of care and support they receive.
Children and young people with a learning disability may also have special educational needs (SEN).
Honestly, when my now-boyfriend first told me on our first date, my reaction was “Huh, interesting, why’s that, hmm these meatballs are really good, tell me more, does it bother you, how does it affect you, do you want another drink, please let’s have another cocktail so we can keep talking.” But I don’t think I’m unusual or being especially good or anything, to be clear. Obviously, I do notice — in the sense that I can see. And while some people with disabilities will tell you they welcome people looking and asking questions about obvious markers of appearance, others say they hate it. And no, it doesn’t hurt that I find him ridiculously sexy and that he himself is pretty open and comfortable about things.
But I’d be lying if I said I’d never worried about whether we’ll ever be able to do typical couple-y stuff like go on long country walks (because too much walking can hurt) or, I don’t know, hike Machu Picchu.
Admittedly, before I met my boyfriend, I didn’t really know anyone who had real mobility problems and hadn’t given people with disabilities much thought, other than briefly thinking that living with a disability must be pretty hard work. My boyfriend may not have all his limbs or fingers, but he’s still a whole human being.
But I still don’t give people with disabilities (as if they’re one big group…) much thought, even though I’m dating someone who qualifies. Consider everyone as individuals with interests, flaws, successes, insecurities and passions, just like everyone else. And whatever happens with us, relationship-wise or otherwise, that won’t change. If the Scope research makes people realize that a bit more, perhaps we can all (especially people my age, please!
There are plenty of things in a new relationship that can be awkward, as anyone who’s ever dated anyone will know. The first time my boyfriend took his leg off for sex, it was a little weird. Now, I honestly barely notice – or care ‒ that he has no foot from the left shin down (for which he wears a prosthetic leg). Silence between two people who have nothing in common is awkward.To answer your next question: he was born with it, due to amniotic band syndrome, which can restrict growth of limbs in the womb and cause other problems such as cleft palate. Incidentally, he also has a corrected club foot, a scar from a corrected cleft lip, issues with his hands — one has just two fingers and a thumb, and the other has four fingers which work fine but look a bit oddly shaped at closer inspection. Nothing much to see here (apart from the fact that he’s also gorgeous). Making a joke and having the other person not laugh at all is awkward. Being with someone who has a disability definitely shouldn’t be awkward.Because “they” often don’t need you to treat them hugely differently to anyone else. ) focus less on the fact that people with disabilities are “awkward” and more on the important relationship issues.OK, so people in wheelchairs need you to consider access, people who can’t walk far might need you to consider transport alternatives. You know, like giving him a hard time for how long he takes to text back, taking issue with the fact he doesn’t like whisky (WHAT?
Find out how a learning disability can affect someone and where you can find support.