We all know the remedy: first fill those needs in ourselves.If we want someone else to show up in a certain way, we first have to show up for ourselves.Writer Eiman Jawed offers 17 questions that can jumpstart the process of getting a true sense of a potential mate.A few examples: “Who is your biggest role model,” What about my profile stuck out to you? .” In this disposable culture of ghosting, do your best to stay brave, confident, and open.Of course, as Ben Harper sings, “It’s so hard to do, and so easy to say.” Self-discovery is an ongoing journey.While you don’t want to get stuck in endless messaging, it’s a good idea to ensure you and a potential match are on the same page.It’s pretty much guaranteed.” David Hung Dalhousie University, 4th year Theatre “Get to know the person before you fall in love with them, because usually it ends sour. And don’t settle.” Tia Cox Compu College, 4th year Interior Decorating “I probably wish I knew to take it slow, keep my options open. Make sure you get to know your surroundings before you settle down with one person. What’s the first step in creating a profile that delivers? Not only awkward and disappointing, it leaves a bad taste in your mouth. Men [are] more attracted to women displaying happiness, like a big smile.” Photos are key.
Too much pre-date messaging can make first-date conversation challenging. According to life coach and author Christine Hassler, “It’s like you’re on your second date in terms of info, but your first date in terms of physical chemistry, which can make things awkward.” Too much information up front can interfere with good ole chemistry. Instead of trying to anticipate what the other person wants, go about your day and meet your own needs. And to potential matches, it’s a refreshing change to a landscape that is oversaturated with over-trying and insincerity. Creating fantasies about future first dates can only lead to disappointment.While being open doesn’t mean you wont get hurt, occasional heartbreak is a small price for a rich and fulfilling life.Relationship expert John Kim, also known as The Angry Therapist, puts it bluntly: “You can protect yourself by living behind your fear walls and you’ll end up creating a moat around your life castle.Not only will you avoid being let down, you may well set yourself up for the most meaningful of surprises. you’ll never know the truth about [someone] unless you put in the effort to talk or go on a date.” Judgments might be coming from your defenses, and when you latch onto specific “flaws,” you might overlook a person who is an amazing match.Also, the heart might want someone the head disqualifies.
It’s good to experience a balance between being über relationship-y and über slutty.” Rory Mac Lellan University of King’s College, 6th year Philosophy “It’s tough to distinguish between friends and more than friends when you’re dealing with the opposite sex.